Uncle Santa was a jolly old soul Far removed from the Santa you know He had a bag of tricks to tease the crowd He had a smile as big as a clown’s His fans came from all corners of the world He greeted them, smirked, and gave a little twirl He came from outer space You could see the joy on his face Uncle Santa doesn’t know your songs But he hopes you’ll sing along After all It’s time to hear his story fall Ho-ho-ho there’s something I wanna know Snow-snow-snow how does that old song go Oh! Uncle Santa! We love you every day Ho-ho! Uncle Santa! Where is that gosh darned sleigh? So Uncle Santa plucked at his beard He chuckled once for all to hear And suddenly His magic sleigh appeared The crowd all whooped and poopity scooped Presents flopped out, one a hula hoop It was the end of the night and Uncle Santa to take flight But one more verse to quench your thirst The story’s old but it can’t hurt To sing it loud and clear One more time for your ears No-no-no the song will never end Go-go-go spread it to your friends Oh! Uncle Santa! Sing us one more song Ho-ho! Uncle Santa! Before our planet’s also gone

It’s a cat Christmas Rounding up my buddies to play Ornaments set up Like presents on display Cats and Christmas go together Like peanut butter and jam There’s nothing that can stop a cat whose eyes are on the prize Anything that glitters will make a cat fly There’s tinsel and wrapping Perfect for sinking your claws in Nothing better than Christmas For a pet whose life is a bore There’s nothing that can stop a cat whose eyes are on the prize Anything that glitters will make a cat fly

Santa Buddy, I’m looking for you! I wanna play a game in an igloo! Oh, don’t you too? I wanna go Wanna go to your home It’d be nice if we had some spice We could make something nice Maybe Christmas pies? Wanna bake a cake Bake a cake with you Santa Buddy, are you on your way? Do you think you’ll make it here today? Or will it take until May? Why don’t you come along As fast as you can

Oh, Christmas Ghost! I’d love to meet you one day, even if you might be gross (gross gross) I dunno, I’ve never met a ghost (ghost ghost) Especially not one that likes Christmas the most (most most) So, how about it? I think You’d be Pretty cool, so I’ll keep hoping for it when we make the Christmas toast I just …. wanna meet … a Christmaaaaaaaaas … ghost!

Rudolph was a reindeer he was covered all in cat hair from his hooves all the way to his ears there’s not a criticism here that’s a compliment, my dear Santa let his beard grow he was known to eat the pure, white snow but don’t let Frosty snowman know his heart will melt and freeze away, then he’ll be okay Christmas stories bring you cheer and joy Let’s all hear it for more than just toys I want x2 to tell you all the things I know but that’s a story for another time Uncle Santa had a friend but he was made of gingerbread he wanted to go out and said “ho ho ho” on the radio it wasn’t for show Charlie Brown’s a classic you can buy a toy of plastic but there’s something much more drastic you can’t buy at xmas time not even for a dime Christmas stories bring you cheer and joy Let’s all hear it for more than just toys I want x2 to tell you all the things I know but that’s a story for another time It’s love x2 and friends x2 that make x2 Christmas time never end! Go out and sing your heart all out and don’t forget what Christmas’ all about

I woke up today, green christmas cuz I’m snatching up your stash kids I’m the grinch bitch, put your cash in, I only got minutes There’s more kids to stick up, you’re stalling my business Thanks, I gotta run. I told my girlfriend I’d meet her at one. And she doesn’t know I’m real, so I’m hiding my gun, and she doesn’t know I steal so I pay for her stuff. That’s oaky, because I’m making the bucks, and it feels so nice not to pay just to fuck. At her house, facing ace full of blunts, playing gameboy downstairs while she readies for lunch. She comes down, I take a look at my hoe, she’s looking damn fine under the mistletoe. That shit corny, so I take a drag from my smoke, and I laugh because I’m broke. Pay me bitch (I ain’t got time, bitch, so pay me. Just hand it over here, don’t have to get crazy) I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. I’m going through your trash like George Constanza. I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. Eating all your cookies, drinking all the fanta. I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. I’m going through your trash like George Constanza. I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. Eating all your cookies, drinking all your fanta. I’ll leave the girls presents because I think I’m santa. On LSD bitch because I think I’m santa. The cops run at me, but bitch I’m santa. Flying in the sky, and I think I’m santa. People call me Snoopy cuz I’m always with Woodstock My girl calls me New York cuz she loves my woodstock I’m a lumberjack, cuz my wood’s always in stock Chopping down trees with my hands, you say knock knock Who’s there? Ya Boy Fiz come back to haunt ya Ghost of Christmas past, I’m the Scrooge, because I’m pinching all my pennies I do all my shopping at JC Penny Gotta sweater and popping a Xanny I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future Practicing surgical suture Because I’m a man who is mature That’s I like when you’re dressed up like a Christmas tree, but u make me wrap my present first, when I’d rather be breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. going through your trash like George Constanza. I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. Eating all your cookies, drinking all the fanta. I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. I’m going through your trash like George Constanza. I’m breaking in your house, because I think I’m Santa. Eating all your cookies, drinking all your fanta. I’ll leave the girls presents because I think I’m santa. On LSD bitch because I think I’m santa. The cops run at me, but bitch I’m santa. Flying in the sky, and I think I’m santa. Matt Chill G thinks he’s Santa Alex B thinks he’s santa Ya Boy Fiz thinks he’s santa Let’s put one more verse under the tree It’s time for Christmas time to leave Charlie Brown may never kick the football But Christmas time will come again after next fall This time next year I’ll think I'm Santa again But until that time, I’ll slide into your DMs Send you picks of my cat, you’ll never be sick of them